Mental Health Counselor Paul Cartone

Preface: About Paul Cartone is in response to a terrible time I went through in my life. I was the previous owner for 13 years (2000-2013) of a group practice in Arizona. In 2009 2 employees made false accusations to the Arizona Board of Behavioral Health. The practice was scrutinized and the board determined our procedures needed to change regarding patient charting.  As a result, my license was placed on probation for 2 years because I was the owner of the tax id. I was compliant and released from all the terms and conditions of the consent agreement. I continue to practice today and love what I do!

About Me: I am a husband and a father. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife and two great kids; a boy and a girl. My personal life cannot be any better and I thank God for that.

Professionally, I earned a Masters degree in Counseling and I am doing what I love to do; helping people. Helping people is personally rewarding and I can’t ask for much more. Throughout my life, I have had my share of hard times and have even hit rock bottom financially. Professionally, I have had some adversity and battled through it.  In retrospect, I have learned from these experiences and as as a result have become a better person. My focus professionally has never changed throughout these difficult times. I became a psychotherapist for one reason and one reason only; to help those in need.

I am currently a  Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York State. I am also a Life Coach and Sports Performance Coach. However, I specialize in anxiety and panic attacks because I have been through it. I understand and know first hand what you may be going through. I personally developed a paradigm that I have found to work with thousands of patients that I have been blessed to help over the last 17 years. This paradigm will get you results plain and simple. My goal is to help those who want to take control of their life and free themselves from the emotional abyss as a result of being plagued with anxiety and panic attacks. Yes, there is hope! You can overcome this condition and live a life of freedom and peace.

 For More About My Services Please Visit: www.justbementallyfree.com

The Greatest Love Of All

Just Be Mentally Free!

I’m not sure if many people know what this means. To truly love yourself. Alright, some of you men like to bake or like flowers. I like meaningful songs and music that speaks to me. In honor of breast cancer awareness month and what is happening in our country and world, I thought I would write about what this song means to me, “Greatest Love Of All.”

You can be free from feeling guilt, shame, self-doubt and fear! If you want to know how, contact me! I believe this is the most powerful song ever written. The message is clear. If you live in self-love, it is the “Greatest Love of All.” If you are not sure about this concept; to be frank, you’re Emotional IQ is low. It starts with having this awareness and developing your Emotional IQ. Here is a very good article to help you understand Emotional…

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Anxiety Shuts Down Our Thinking

Have you ever wondered why you cannot make a decision when you’re feeling anxious or you feel like you cannot remember a word or think clearly when you are experiencing anxiety? Anxiety literally shuts down our higher order thinking and makes learning very difficult. There is a scientific reason for this and an explanation why you cannot make a decision when you are feeling fear and anxiety.

The amygdala is a small, almond-shaped clump of neurons deep in the center of our brain. It’s the integrative center for emotions, emotional behavior and motivation. Research has shown that it plays a primary role in the processing of memory, decision-making, and emotional reactions. It’s the filter that leads to the prefrontal cortex. The prefontal cortexbrain-40356_640 is where all of our executive functions take place. The prefrontal cortex resides at the front of the brain and acts as an “executive” for the decision making process, weaving past events to present experiences in order to make the best choices. If the filter (amygdala) is “clogged” with anxiety and fears, our executive functioning (prefrontal cortex) is shut down making it nearly impossible to make decisions, remember information or process new information.

Researchers from the Hawn Foundation have found that, “When we are calm and peaceful the filter [amygdala: an information filter regulated by our emotional state] is wide open and information flows to the prefrontal cortex, where the brain’s so-called executive functions take place. On the other hand when we are feeling negative and stressed out, these executive functions, which provide cognitive control, are inhibited. Indeed information stays in the amygdala; it doesn’t flow into the prefrontal cortex for executive processing. Instead it’s processed right on the spot as fight, flight or freeze. In this way, fear and anxiety effectively shut down higher-order thinking (Scholastic 9).” The MindUp Curriculum. [brain-focused Strategies for Learning-and Living]. New York, NY: Scholastic, 2011. Print.

Remember, you’re not stupid, incompetent or incapable of learning! Anxiety can be very brainstorming-413156_640debilitating and can shut us down not only emotionally, but intellectually as well. However, you do not have to live a life being controlled by anxiety. You can overcome this condition and even live an anxiety free life. There is hope. I am proof you can be in control of this condition and live a life of peace that you deserve!

Sign up for my “Be Free From Anxiety” Webinar on April 16th at 8pm EST and learn valuable information about anxiety and how to begin to live a life free from Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

 

 

 

Keep Your Head In The Game!

Developing the mind of a champion athlete is just as important as training physically. To reach your full potential as an athlete, you have to start training your mind. Just as you develop physical skills and techniques, you must learn to develop mental skills. In the world of sports psychology, mental skills include staying relaxed under pressure, being in the present, focusing on what’s important, letting go of mistakes, letting go of bad breaks and failures, handling self-doubts and negative thinking, using visualization for upcoming events, motivating yourself, recognizing mental traps and avoiding them, and developing self-confidence.

These mental skills will be difficult to master if you are not “Emotionally Fit.” Emotional fitness is defined as the state wherein the mind is capable of staying away from negative thoughts and can focus on creative and constructive tasks. Being emotionally fit is the key to success in all aspects of life especially as an athlete. Unresolved, negative emotions can weigh you down and prevent success and drain you of the energy you need to be productive daily and optimize your performance.

So what does this have to do with sports performance? Everything. Ultimately, we want congruence between our logic and emotions. If there is conflict between the two, this will cause problems; if not sooner than definitely later. Our toxic emotions can take over our logic, creating self-doubt, fears and lack of confidence. We want our logic to lead the way with a clear vision and plan to achieve our goals. An “Emotionally Fit Self” supports and feeds our logic with confidence and positive feelings. There are some athletes that use athletics as an escape from their unhealthy environment. These athletes may argue they will lose their “competitive edge” if the negative emotions or anger they harbor is resolved. They believe those negative feelings are fueling them to become a better athlete, stronger mentally, and more competitive. Quite the opposite happens. Over time, the negative emotions take over and pose problems. The negative emotions win and personal problems begin to interfere with their sports performance. Negative toxic emotions take over their logic. A professional golfer (name withheld) is a perfect example of this. He is having a lot of problems with his game, especially his short game. He was trained at a young age to have the mental skills to be a champion and based on his incredible success was “Emotionally Fit.” Or was he? There was a reason and deep-rooted cause for his infidelity and sex addiction that came out in 2010 which led to his demise. This has caused his professional sports career to plummet and most recently he blames his “injuries” on his poor play but I will argue he is not “Emotionally Fit.” His logic tells him he has all the physical ability in the world, but his unresolved negative toxic emotions are wreaking havoc and taking over to the point he cannot perform like he used to .

So you may be asking yourself, “How do I become emotionally fit?” Here is a simple test to see if you are emotionally fit. Answer some of these questions:

  • Can I think of the past (as far back as infancy until now) and feel ok?
  • Is there a negative emotion associated with some past event that I don’t want to deal with and keep burying?
  • Is there something that’s plaguing you and you can’t identify what it is?
  • Is there someone I have not forgiven in my life?
  • Do I tend to see the glass half empty instead of half full?
  • Am I sad much of the time?
  • Is my current stress level high?
  • Am I easily agitated or angered?
  • Am I lacking confidence in my personal life and in my sport?

If you answered yes to any of these questions or you felt an “emotional charge,” then you need some work to resolve and become “Emotionally Fit.” If you do, it will require some work on your part with a professional Psychotherapist or Sports Performance Coach like myself. I have been helping people become emotionally fit for 16 years and have developed a system that will get you where you want to be quickly. I use traditional methods and an alternative cutting edge technique that will get you to a place of resolution. As a result, every aspect of your life will improve. It takes a strong person to resolve and deal with their emotions. Becoming “Emotionally Fit” brings you back to why you play your sport in the first place. For the love of the game!

For more information on what an emotional cleanse is and the packages I offer, check out my web page and receive half off by mentioning this article:

https://affinitycounselingservicesllc.wordpress.com/you-need-an-emotional-cleanse/

©Copyright 2015 Paul Cartone, LMHC. All Rights Reserved

The First Step In Overcoming Anxiety and Panic Attacks-A Traditional Approach

I combine traditional and non-traditional techniques when I work with clients. This traditional technique is absolutely necessary and happens to be the first step in overcoming anxiety and Panic Attacks. If you or someone you know is suffering from anxiety, this is a very difficult concept and and can be perceived as very risky.

The first step in overcoming anxiety is to Allow Yourself To Feel It. Allowing yourself to feel the anxiety and panic attack will lessen the intensity. If you can train your mind to allow yourself to feel it and experience it, over time, it will become less intense and less scary. This is difficult to do for many reasons. It comes down to fear. Fear, fear, fear. You don’t need to live in fear anymore!

A major characteristic of those with anxiety is the need to be in control. The thought of allowing yourself to feel it is beyond their comprehension especially if the anxiety and panic is so bad it’s ruling their world. When you try to control and contain the anxiety, just the opposite happens. It’s like trying to control this wild caged animal inside of you. It has to get out but the thought of letting it out for the anxiety sufferer is terrifying. So, the opposite happens when you try to control it. The feelings of anxiety intensify inside your body and take total control. This leads to obsessive thinking which can elicit a panic attack. When you try to lock it inside and control it, you are feeding it and giving it more power and fuel to last for a longer time. This is a vicious cycle. The anxiety sufferer must do the opposite. It takes a lot of practice and self-awareness. When the feelings of anxiety present themselves, instead of trying to control it and locking it in, you must immediately give yourself permission to experience it. By giving yourself permission, you are setting yourself up to manage the anxiety and take away it’s power. Making a simple statement like, “I am allowing myself to feel this and I am giving my body permission to have this feeling” is the first step. Next, take a deep breath, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Over time, this will be an automatic response and although you may feel the anxiety, it will be less and less intense. Ultimately, giving you power and control. So, bring it on and invite it to take over when you begin to feel it. Think of it as a game. Opening yourself up and allowing your body to feel it drains the power, and ultimately you win!

If you or your loved one is having difficulty with this first step, you will benefit by learning my non-traditional approach. I guarantee results!

http://www.justbementallyfree.com

“Let Go Of The Things Out Of Your Control”

A common characteristic of someone suffering from anxiety is the need to be “in control.” If you are suffering from anxiety, someone has probably told you, “Let go of things out of your control.” What exactly does this mean and why is it difficult to do this? What is it that someone suffering from anxiety is trying to “control?”

To sum it up, pretty much everything, i.e. their feelings, their relationships, others’ reactions, their environment and the list goes on. This is an exhausting way to live and a major reason anxiety is so debilitating. For those suffering from anxiety, the idea that the only thing we can control is our self is difficult to understand. What is really controlling them is fear. Fear has such stranglehold that it controls every aspect of their life. As a result, fear is the force behind the issue of control.

A simple traditional technique (Cognitive Restructuring) to help someone suffering from anxiety is to use self-dialogue. It starts with asking themselves a simple question. “Is this within my control?” Most of the time, the answer is no. The next step is to consciously make a statement to themselves saying, “When the time comes I will deal with the______.” The last step is to say, “At this very moment. I am choosing to let go of the this _______ because there is nothing I can do about it.” With practice, over time, it should be easier to manage the obsessive thinking about being “in control” of everything and let go. The goal is to be in the present moment. This technique takes time and discipline. In order for this technique to work, the individual must commit to taking the time to process their thoughts.

However, there is one caveat. This traditional technique may be difficult because underlying fears have taken over. In order to operate without fear, some work has to be done. I believe there is a root cause of fear and once these root causes are discovered, they can be resolved. The underlying root cause is toxic and causes inner turmoil. The result is feeling peaceful inside. So, with resolution, it’s easier to be in the present and to “let go of the things that are out of your control.”

My goal is for everyone to “Just Be Mentally Free” and live a life of peace that you deserve. “Just Be” means living in the present, seizing the moment (Carpe Diem). “Mentally Free” means having a mind that is free from anything that can keep us from being “Just Be.” Hence, “Just Be Mentally Free.” If we can achieve this, we are living in the moment out of pure love and joy. Our mind and body are one. We are in total peace. When we’re not mentally free, we perform below our true potential and fear keeps us from where we can or want to be.

https://affinitycounselingservicesllc.wordpress.com/

 

 

©COPYRIGHT 2015 PAUL CARTONE, LMHC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Monday “Just Be Mentally Free” Minute

Mondays are difficult for most people for a lot of different reasons. It’s the start of the work week, most people don’t like their jobs, some of you may be battling depression or anxiety and it’s difficult to get through the week.

Here is simple tip to make Monday a little easier as well as every day. The minute you wake up and your feet hit the floor, tell yourself, “It will be a great day”
“I am going to have a great day.” Make the decision it will be a great day. Tell yourself that right now. Say it out loud.

Doing things joyfully even if you don’t like it makes life a lot easier. Remember, there is always someone else worse off than you. Make that decision right now and every morning you wake up. This is a start and a small step in overcoming negative self-defeating thoughts. It’s called positive self-talk and a traditional way counselors tell their clients to train their mind to think differently. There are so many benefits to having a positive mind set, I don’t have enough time to talk about them.

If you are struggling with this daily, I have a system that will help you clear your negative self defeating thoughts and get you in a more positive mindset emotionally.

Remember, its my goal to help everyone Just Be Mentally Free and live a life of PEACE everyone deserves.

Have a great day!

Be Emotionally Fit in 2015!

Happy New Year!

A lot of people are starting the New Year with a focus on their physical health and getting back into shape. Others are focused on their relationships, business or professional goals for 2015. Although all of these are great areas to set goals and focus on, it’s very difficult if you are not emotionally fit to accomplish much.

Emotional fitness is defined as the state wherein the mind is capable of staying away from negative thoughts and can focus on creative and constructive tasks. Being emotionally fit is the key to success in all aspects of life. Unresolved, negative emotions can weigh you down and prevent success and drain you of the energy you need to be productive daily.

So you may be asking yourself, “How do I become emotionally fit?” Here is a simple test to see if you are emotionally fit. Answer some of these questions.

  • Can I think of the past (as far back as infancy until now) and feel ok?
  • Is there a negative emotion associated with some past event that I don’t want to deal with and keep burying?
  • Is there something that’s plaguing you and you can’t identify what it is?
  • Is there someone I have not forgiven in my life?
  • Do I tend to see the glass half empty instead of half full?
  • Am I sad much of the time?
  • Is my current stress level high?
  • Am I easily agitated or angered?
  • Am I self-confident?

You can probably tell by your answers if you need some work on being emotionally fit. If you do, it will require some work on your part with a professional Life Coach or Therapist like myself. It may seem like a monumental task to become emotionally fit but the results are far greater than any fear you have that’s keeping you from being emotionally free. I promise you that!

I have been helping people become emotionally fit for 15 years and have developed a system that will get you where you want to be quickly. I use traditional methods and an alternative cutting edge technique that will get you to a place of resolution. As a result, every aspect of your life will improve. It takes a strong person to resolve and deal with their emotions. Face it, our mind, body and emotions are all connected. Do you want congruence in your life or inner conflict? Consider an emotional cleanse that will get you to a place of overall emotional health.

For more information on what an emotional cleanse is and the packages I offer, check out my web page:

https://affinitycounselingservicesllc.wordpress.com/you-need-an-emotional-cleanse/

In Good Health,

Paul

©Copyright 2015 Paul Cartone, LMHC. All Rights Reserved